A Strange Paradox
by John Hitchcock
Summary: A three-way crossover between The Thing and 2001, and Doctor Who. Frank Poole and R.J. MacReady switch places and recieve help from the Doctor. I'm making this up as I go along, so feel free to provide suggestions as to what directions I should go in.
1. Chapter 1

R.J. MacReady picked up some ice cubes out of a bucket and placed them into a glass. He reached for a bottle of whiskey and poured some into the glass as well. He took a sip before he turned his attention back towards the chess computer. He typed in his move before taking another sip.

"Your move," said the computer. "Bishop to knight 4. My move, knight to rook 3."

"Poor baby, you're starting to lose aren't you," Mac said.

Frank Poole cleared his throat as he thought about his next move. "Anyway, queen take pawn," he finally said.

" Bishop takes knight's pawn," replied HAL.

Mac typed in his next move. "Your move," said the computer. "King to rook one. My move, knight to rook six. Checkmate. Checkmate."

Poole thought about his next move for a moment. "Uh, rook to king one," he said.

"I'm sorry Frank," said HAL. "I think you missed it. queen to Bishop 3, bishop takes queen, knight takes bishop. Mate"

"Yeah," replied Poole. "It looks like you're right. I resign."

"Cheatin' ****" Mac said, as he opened up the small hatch, exposing the computer's wires, and poured his drink inside.

Poole stood up and walked away for a moment before noticing something was odd about his location. It seemed... different, and unfamiliar. "HAL?" He called out. No answer came.

He noticed a window, and saw something very odd- sunlight. Upon looking closer, Poole could not help but notice that there was snow everywhere. "This definitely is not _Discovery_," he muttered to himself. Furthermore, he realized he was in a small wooden building that was several feet above the ground.

MacReady stood and looked around. This was definitely not his shack. He seemed to be in a large round, grey room with control panels everywhere. The floor literally curved upwards, forming a complete circle before leading back down to where he stood. Suddenly a hatch opened, and an enraged young man climbed down a ladder, apparently sideways. The man was clean-shaven, with short, dark hair and a thin, grey suit.

"Frank," he said as he landed on the ground, and started walking downwards. "We've got a very serious problem. Something's wrong with HAL. One moment I was talking to him and the next he just randomly shut down. I can't find any trace of his consciousness anywhere on this ship and if we don't-"

The man cut himself off as he passed Mac. "Oh I'm sorry," he said. "I thought you were Frank."

The man started to walk past before stopping himself and turning around. "Wait a minute," he said. "Who are you?"

Mac was not quite sure how to respond. "Well, who the **** are you?" he asked. "Where the **** am I?"

The man sighed. "You're on _Discovery 1_," he said. "I'm Dave Bowman, mission commander."

"MacReady," replied Mac. "Most people just call me Mac."

At that point, Bowman noticed the glass next to the screen. He also saw the open hatch. He took a closer look, and it confirmed his suspicions.

"You idiot!" He said angrily. "You've just killed HAL!"

"What?" Mac asked.

"He was our computer," Bowman explained. "He was overseeing every one of this ship's systems, and now you've just killed him."

"He was cheating," Mac said. Bowman said nothing in response but turned quickly and ran up the wall. Mac followed him, and saw he was running towards what appeared to be three men, encased in thick, white cases. They almost looked mummified. Bowman was checking each and every one of them desperately before turning towards Mac.

"They're dead," Bowman told him. "You've just killed three men."

Poole looked around the building. He found a few of someone's belongings and a stash of liquor, but no answers. The sound of a helicopter was heard from outside. Hoping there might be some form of answer, Poole quickly found a coat, put it on and stepped outside.

As Poole stepped out of the shack, he saw a group of men gathered outside, apparently puzzled about something as well. He quickly worked his way downstairs and started to see what was happening. A helicopter was approaching the camp, pursuing a dog. Gunshots could be heard once in a while, and an explosion was seen in the distance.

The dog ran into the camp and jumped onto one of the men. The helicopter landed and the two pilots got out. One of them had a small round object, possibly a grenade. He accidently threw it backwards, shouted something and ran away. The other man got down on his knees and tried to find the grenade. However, it went off, destroying the helicopter.

The man who was not blown up quickly fell to the ground as the helicopter exploded. He had a rifle and slowly emerged from the snow. He shouted something which Poole could not understand before raising his weapon and trying to shoot at the dog. It ran out of the way, and hit one of the men in the leg.

"TAKE COVER!" someone shouted. Following the instincts of the other men, Poole quickly dove into a nearby snow bank, landing next to a man in a light brown jacket. After a moment, he seemed to look at Poole strangely.

"Who the heck are you?" He asked.

Poole looked at him confusedly. "I was just going to ask you the same question," he said. At that moment, the strange man with the rifle began to walk around one of the vehicles in the camp, attempting to fire at the dog. He took a few steps, and raised his gun. Then there was a shot, and he fell to the ground.

Soon after some of the men quickly went in and came out with fire extinguishers to put out the fire from the helicopter. Meanwhile, a middle-aged man with short blonde hair who had quickly thrown on a brown coat stepped out. They gathered around the helicopter for a moment, except the wounded man, who still lay in the snow. At the same time, a large man with a plaid shirt, a green baseball hat, and a thick red beard stepped outside and got down next to the dog. "Easy," he said, stroking its back. "Easy, easy, easy. Yes."

Poole, shocked and confused, slowly got up and looked around nervously. At that point, the wounded man and the large man both looked at him.

"Who the **** are you?" The large man shouted after a moment. Poole was not quite sure how to respond.

This suddenly got the attention of one of the men, a tall, bald, black man. The others were initially confused. Two of the men came over at that point, one of them an older man who started to help the wounded man, while the other looked like an authority figure.

"Where did you come from?" the authority figure asked.

"I'm not entirely sure," replied Poole.

"He's definitely not Norwegian," said the black man.

Poole looked around nervously. "Could someone please explain what's going on?" he asked.

"How did you get here?" asked the authority figure.

"I don't know," replied Poole. "One moment I was aboard _Discovery _playing chess with HAL, the next I'm sitting with an ancient computer in some wooden shack."

"Ancient?" asked the authority figure.

"Look," Poole said. "Could someone just tell me where I am?"

The authority figure sighed. "You're in Outpost 31," he said before turning back toward the door. Poole reluctantly followed him.

"X-ray delta one," said the mission controller as he appeared on screen. "This is Mission Control."

"We have a very serious emergency," Bowman calmly said into the radio. "HAL's broken, the three in hibernation are dead, some guy randomly appeared, and I can't find Frank anywhere. Over."

The mission controller was not sure what to make of this information. "You say that someone just randomly appeared?" he asked.

Mac stepped next to Bowman at that moment. "Who's that," asked the Mission controller.

"I don't know," replied Bowman.

"Could you by any chance tell me where the **** I am?" Mac asked.

"You're aboard the spaceship _Discovery 1_, replied the Mission Controller. "On your way to Jupiter."

Mac looked confused. "That can't be possible," he said. "I'm supposed to be in Antarctica. I'm a helicopter pilot."


	2. Chapter 2

The team carried the body of the Norwegian into the recreational room and set it down on the ping pong table. As they did so, a young, black man on roller skates entered the room.

"Maybe we at war with Norway," he said, jokingly.

"I was wondering when El Capitan was going to get a chance to use his pop gun," said one man, a tall, clean-shaven man who was wearing headphones and a jean vest who was smoking a cigarette. The authority figure shot him a cold stare.

Poole just watched quietly as the other men tried to make sense of their situation.

"How long they been stationed there?" Asked the authority figure.

Another man with a thin beard and glasses took a closer look at a document. "Says here only eight weeks," he said.

"Well, that's not long enough for guys to go bonkers," replied the authority figure.

Poole thought about this for a moment. "I don't know," he said. The young black man turned towards him. "Who the **** are you?" He asked.

Poole stared at him for a moment before looking at the other men. "My name is Frank Poole," he said. "I am deputy commander aboard _Discovery 1_, or at least I was until I somehow ended up in a wooden shack outside."

This got the attention of the bearded man with the glasses. "Shack?" he asked.

"It was outside. I found myself sitting in front of an outdated chess computer and then heard a helicopter coming in. That's when I came out and saw all you gathering around outside."

"That sounds like Mac's shack," said the authority figure. "Now that I think about it I haven't seen him at all today."

"We're going to have to find him quick," said the old man. "A Norwegian as crazy as this could have caused a lot of damage."

"Well there's nothing we can do about it," said the authority figure.

"Oh yes there is," said the old man. "I'm going to go up. Bennings."

The man who was wounded earlier turned towards him. "Winds are going to let up a tad in the next couple of hours."

"A tad?" asked the authority figure.

"Can't condone it much myself, but it is a short haul," replied Bennings. "An hour there an hour back."

"**** Doc," said the man with the headphones and the cigarette as he stood up. "I'll give you a lift. No problem."

Bowman had finally started to calm down as he and Mac sat down to some space food. "This stuff tastes like ****," Mac said.

"You get used to it," replied Bowman. "Now, I know something's up. You say you were in Antarctica."

"Yeah," replied Mac. "I was in my shack getting drunk. I played on my chess wizard. It cheated, so I poured my drink into it, except it turned out to be the computer system to some form of spaceship."

"Listen," said Bowman. "I don't know how you got here, but if we're going to survive we'll have to work together. We might be able to get things working again, but I'm going to need your help."

Mac thought for a moment and sighed. "Alright," he said. "What do you need me to do?"

The helicopter landed just outside the main camp, and Poole ran out with the rest of the team to meet them. The old man and the man who had been smoking earlier climbed out the helicopter. A brief search had been conducted, but the pilot they called Mac was nowhere to be seen, so the doctor had to get a replacement, who Poole learned was named Palmer.

Palmer and the old man, who Poole had earlier heard addressed as Doc, stepped out of the helicopter. They had with them a strange bundled item which the team helped to carry inside. They placed it down on the table and opened it up, revealing some strange burned corpse.

Several of the men were disgusted. The stench was horrific, and one man, a large, balding man with glasses was coughing. Poole himself could not help gagging. "What is it?" he asked.

"Blair," said the authority figure. "I'd like you to start an autopsy, right away." He turned towards Poole. "You said you worked in space."

"Yeah," replied Poole.

"You a scientist?" the authority figure asked.

"Yes," replied Poole.

"Good," replied the authority figure. "Why don't you make yourself useful and give Blair a hand."

The rest of the team was quick to leave as Poole, Blair, Doc, and the man with the beard and glasses began preparing. Doc began an autopsy on the man killed earlier.

"There's nothing wrong with this Norwegian," Doc said. "No drugs, no alcohol, nothing."

Blair began cutting open the creature and looking inside. "Well, what we got here appears to be a set of normal internal organs," he said. "A heart, a liver, the lungs."

"It's clearly not human," said Poole. "Look at the face."

The bearded man took a look at it. "It's almost like they're fused together," said Poole. "It just doesn't look natural."


	3. Chapter 3

In the centrifuge, there was a strange noise. A flash appeared as a small police box materialized. The door opened and a man stepped out. He had a thick trench coat, a fedora, a ridiculously long scarf, and short, curly hair. He was accompanied by a young woman with dark hair.

"What is this place?" Asked the girl.

"This is _Discovery 1_," replied the man. "The first human mission to Jupiter. I wonder where all the crew went."

He then noticed some bodies lying in white coffins. "Hello," he said with intrigue, walking over.

"21st century suspended animation," he said looking at them.

"What do you mean, Doctor?" the girl asked.

"They got put into hibernation," the Doctor explained.

"You mean, they sleep through the mission," asked the girl.

"Yes," replied the Doctor. "Well, that's the idea. They're dead now."

The Doctor walked around the centrifuge towards a computer. "Chess," he said. "A well respectable game." He looked around. "Sarah," he said. "You notice anything strange?"

"What?' asked Sarah, looking around. "It's a spaceship. There's computers and-"

"None of them are working," replied the Doctor. He looked toward the nearby screen, and saw the open hatch, along with the empty glass.

"Hello," he said keenly, looking at it. He slowly picked up the glass. "Oh no," he said in a less enthusiastic voice.

"What is it?" asked Sarah.

"Some idiot decided to poor whiskey into the computer system," replied the Doctor. "That's never a good idea.

At that moment, a hatch opened, and a young man with short dark hair climbed down. He was followed by another man with long hair and a thick beard.

"Hello dear chaps," said the Doctor. "I'm the Doctor, and this is Sarah Jane Smith." He held out a small bag of candies. "Would you like a jelly baby?"

Bowman reluctantly reached in an took one of the jelly babies and placed it in his mouth. Mac turned them down.


	4. Chapter 4

The TARDIS materialized in the middle of a long, narrow passage. Out stepped an enthusiastic young man with short dark hair and a bow tie.

"Alright," he said. "Welcome to Antarctica. Rory, Amy, you two are about to see something incredible."

"Yeah," said Amy stepping out of the TARDIS. "Snow, like we couldn't find that at home."

"Oh no," said the Doctor. "There's way more to it than that. Wait until you see what lies beneath. You'll love i-"

"Doctor," Rory interrupted. "What's that noise?"

The Doctor paused for a moment, hearing a loud shrieking sound. He quickly ran down the corridor and found what looked like a dog kennel, but inside was certainly not a dog. It looked like some kind of monster with a vaguely dog-like head.

"Oh no," said the Doctor. "This is bad. Really, really bad."

"What is it Doctor?" Rory asked.

"It's a creature from the other end of the universe," replied the Doctor. "It copies the cells of other life forms, creates perfect imitations, and then spreads."

"You mean, it's trying to imitate a dog," asked Amy.

"Multiple dogs by the look of it," replied the Doctor. "I think we got to warn the owners. AMY! RORY! STAY HERE AND DON'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL I GET BACK!"

Poole lay in bed, trying to fall asleep. The memory of everything that happened that day kept playing in his head. One moment he was playing chess with HAL, the next he was in a wooden shack belonging to a missing helicopter pilot. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Poole ignored it for a moment before pushing his bed sheets aside and walked over to the door.

He expected to find the authority figure or one of the Americans waiting there. Maybe Blair or Fuchs had found something interesting. What he did not expect was to see an enthusiastic young man with short dark hair and a bow tie, which is exactly who was standing at his door.

"Oh hello," he said excitedly. "I'm terribly sorry to disturb you. Are you in charge here?"

"No," replied Poole.

"Ah," replied the strange man. "Well, I just thought you might want to know that a strange shape shifting alien is in your dog kennel. "

Poole quickly stepped outside and followed the strange man. He led him right into the dog kennel, and Poole could not quite grasp what he was seeing."

"Anything happened while I was gone?" asked the Doctor.

"Not that we could see," replied Amy.

"Right," said the Doctor. "The only way to kill one of those creatures is to burn it."

He turned towards Poole. "Do you have anything. Some flares maybe? A flamethrower? Something that creates fire."

Poole just looked at him confusedly. "I don't know," he shouted. "I'm not even supposed to be here."

"Well we got to do something quick!" The Doctor shouted. "Let's see. There's got to be a fire alarm somewhere."

At that point, the large man with the thick beard and the green hat stepped through a door and walked up to them. "What the **** is going on?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," replied Poole. The man walked up to the Doctor. "Who the **** are you?" he asked.

"Me? I'm the Doctor," replied the Doctor keenly. "Are these your dogs?"

"Yes," replied the large man. "What's happening."

"There's something in there," replied the Doctor. "Something dangerous, something evil. Something like you've never seen before."

"What is it?" asked the large man.

"It's a shape-shifting life-form," replied the Doctor. "It survives by copying other life forms."

"What do we do?" asked the large man.

"Find a fire alarm," said the Doctor.

"Fire alarm?" asked the large man.

"I'm guessing you're here with some other people are you not?" replied the Doctor. "I need a way to quickly alert them."

The large man quickly ran down the corridor. After a moment, the alarm rang throughout the base and it was not long before the team joined them.

"I don't know what's in there, but it's weird and pissed off whatever it is," said the large man as everyone showed up.

"Alright," said the Doctor. "I need someone to get something to burn it with."

Bennings quickly ran off. He came back a few minutes later with the bald black man. He had a flamethrower, aimed it towards the creature and fired.

As soon as the fires were put out, things started to calm down and everyone turned towards the Doctor.

The Doctor took a breath before he started talking. "Right, now this is very important," he said. "How did that creature get into here? Does anyone know?"

"There were a couple of Norwegians this morning," said the authority figure. "They were shooting at a dog and then it ran into our bas-"

"And you let it in because you felt bad for it," said the Doctor. One by one the men started to leave while the Doctor kept thinking.

"We got to it before it time to finish imitating the dogs," he said. "The question is whether or not it infected any of the people."

The Doctor suddenly walked towards Poole. "You," he said. "I'm sorry, didn't catch your name."

"Frank Poole."

"Frank Poole," said the Doctor, thinking about it. "Frank Poole, Frank Poole, Frank Poole. Why does that name ring a bell? I don't know. Anyway, what exactly did you mean when you said you weren't supposed to be here."

"Well," replied Poole. "Earlier today I was on a spaceship playing chess with a computer. Next thing I know I'm in some shack in the middle of Antarctica."

The Doctor thought about it for a moment. "OF COURSE!" he shouted. "THE DISCOVERY MISSION TO JUPITER!"

"Yeah," replied Poole.

"I remember now," said the Doctor. "I visited that ship before when I was younger, and there was a crewman missing. Can you show me the place where you inexplicably turned up?"

"Sure," replied Poole.

"Doctor," said Amy. "What about that creature?"

"Keep an eye on it," said the Doctor. "I don't want that thing getting out. Frank, I'm going to have to ask you to find that shack."


End file.
